Dark Phoenix Crowns Themselves Champions Again with a Wild Week 17 Beatdown

By Tony Roomo

Tony Roomo

Whoa! If you like comebacks, big plays, and a little chaos, this one delivered. The Return of the Champions XXV final was a rematch of destiny—two former league champs, Dark Phoenix and Jeepsters, both clawing their way to a 9-6 record, both hunting a second title. One walked out with a trophy. The other got steamrolled.

Let’s just say this wasn’t close. Phoenix didn’t just win—they torched the Jeepsters with a 64-point margin that never felt in doubt. Coach Ty Turner came in as a wild card, riding a two-game heater, and turned it into a full-blown inferno.

“We’re not going to rest on our laurels,” Turner said, which is classic coach speak for “Yeah, we might three-peat.”

How they did it:

  • Josh Allen did Josh Allen things—two passing touchdowns, almost 200 through the air, plus some scrambling—racking up 24.89 points.
  • Derrick Henry stomped all over Houston for 147 yards and a touchdown. It looked like 2020 again.
  • Adam Thielen reminded everyone he’s still got gas in the tank, dropping 23 points out of nowhere.
  • And don’t sleep on the defense: Blake Cashman (17.5) and Edgerrin Cooper (14.25) played like it was the real NFL playoffs.

Meanwhile… the Jeepsters gave it a go. Rookie Jayden Daniels was electric with 3 TDs and 127 rushing yards. That’s right—127. He scored 35.81 fantasy points, and if this were a solo act, maybe we’d be talking upset. But fantasy isn’t golf. You need a team.

And that’s where it fell apart.

  • Najee Harris? 6 points.
  • Davante Adams? 4.85.
  • Hunter Henry? A goose egg.
  • Their top non-QB scorer? Marvin Mims with 25.5, which sounds good until you realize half the Jeepsters roster decided Week 17 was nap time.

Coach Dan Buckley kept it classy.

“You’ve got to hand it to them,” he said. “They came ready. We didn’t.”

The Result:
Dark Phoenix becomes a two-time champion and officially ends 2024 as the team to beat. Jeepsters, despite a strong season, fall short again—now 0-2 in title games since their first win.

Trash talk? Surprisingly quiet. Maybe the Jeepsters are still recovering from that scoreboard.

But let’s be real—205.93 in a championship game? That’s not just a win. That’s a statement.

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