We pulled it off live on Saturday. Real drum, real balls, real drawing, no shortcuts. Here’s who’s picking at the top of the draft.
Pick 1: Fast Eddy’s Chili
Fast Eddy’s Chili came in at 9% and walked out with the number one pick. That’s the whole reason we run it this way. Nobody’s guaranteed anything, and nobody’s out of it either.
The manager, Will Gray, was in the Zoom call when the ball dropped, and you could hear it. After a season that chewed through their roster with injuries, this is the reset they needed.
“I’ve been starting guys off my couch’s cushions for two months,” Gray said. “This pick doesn’t fix everything, but it means I get to actually rebuild instead of just patching holes. I’m taking the best player on the board and I’m not overthinking it.”
That’s the kind of swing this lottery is built for. A rough year turns into a real opportunity, right in one draw.
Pick 2: Jeepsters
Jeepsters came in at 22%, as the Urinal Cake Game loser, and landed pick two. Manager Dan Buckley gets the second-best odds turning into the second pick. No surprises there, just the system working the way it’s supposed to.
Pick 3: Jack Passers
Jack Passers, run by Adam Smyth, had the best odds in the whole field at 28% after winning the Urinal Cake Game, and still had to wait until the third ball dropped to hear their name. That’s lottery odds for you. Best odds doesn’t mean first pick, it means best shot. This year it landed at three.
What’s next
Picks four and up follow the usual rules. Non-playoff TFV discount stays in place, and the rest of the draft order is set by locked keeper TFV, lowest to highest.
Congrats to Fast Eddy’s Chili, Jeepsters, and Jack Passers. Everybody else, the board’s set. Time to start planning your draft boards.
